My Mind. My Body.

I noticed I've had so many questions swirling around in my head the last week or so.  And they all start with "Why?"  Why do I have so much trouble staying motivated?  Why do I NOT get motivated when I see some of my closest friends reaching new depths with their physical and nutritional fitness? 

I had two instances in the last week that really had me thinking about our inquiry, and made me focus on my own reactions and thoughts/feelings about what I was encountering.  The first was one day on FaceBook.  I "Liked" a new page that a girlfriend of mine was promoting for her friend, and turns out that it was another acquaintance of mine.  The page had to do with being inspired to be physically fit, weight loss goals, etc.  As I started reading some of the posts about "Thanks for the inspiration.  I lifted a 100 lb kettle bell today!" or "This is great!  My 7 mile run is going to lead to a marathon!"  I couldn't help but cringe!  And it wasn't because doing those activities sound horrible to me, but just the fact that I know some of these people, and was slightly jealous of their accomplishments.  Terrible as it sounds, I have to admit that I felt like this so I can figure out why I felt this way.  As a friend, I know I should just be happy, but I think part of me is slightly resentful of the fact that I used to be that super-fit person.  Why have I let so much of my life get in the way of getting healthy and fit, and how do I get that motivation back?

The second incident was when I had a conversation with a relative of mine.  She was diagnosed with depression for about a year ago, and has dealt with weight issues as a result of the medication she's been taking.  We talked about some of the things that were uncovered in her therapy sessions, and how there is so much hurt and anger she has been holding inside over the course of her lifetime.  This really triggered some thoughts in my own mind, and forced me to start reflecting on how some of my own experiences have caused me to hold in ill feelings as well.  I'm wondering if tapping into some of this "stuff" that's locked up inside is what is literally weighing me down from being more active.

mc/mv