No More Excuses

...well, at least that's what I'm trying to hum to myself all day. I hear the words in my head, but I don't feel like the rest of me (mind and body) are buying it quite yet.

My day started off with an internal conversation I was having... I managed to get up shortly after my alarm went off, with the intention of packing my kids clothes for the day, and working on a school post. All was accomplished, and I felt really good for FINALLY being able to get up when I wanted to. And so the conversation in my head began... Mostly questions, but an AH-HA resulted from it.

Me to Self: "Why haven't you been able to do this [getting up early] lately? Why is running the only thing you will make time to do, when you actually WANT to make time for exercise? Why has my motivation been external in the past, i.e., training for a raise, trying to lose weight to look good, keeping up with my friends, etc.? Why should I workout and get healthy now? Who am I doing this for?"

The line of questions churned in my mind through my morning routine, and by the time I was out of the shower (where many of moments of clarity happen!), I heard the words in my head: NO MORE EXCUSES. No more being too tired... no more too much work to get to my goal... no more being unhappy with what I see in the mirror. Just NO MORE. In that moment, I realized the reason why I have trained for so many races in the last year or more. It is because even though I am not a big fan of race training, the commitment I have made to entering the race (paying the registration is a big one!) has been a driving force behind keeping me going. That sense of accomplishment when I log miles and feel that I'm getting somewhere was a good motivation.

I discovered that I have been creating barriers around myself that are keeping me from exercising. I have been so worried about getting anxious with overloading my plate, that the one thing that keeps my anxiety down is what has been sacrificed. So with that... I decided this morning that I am going to pick one of the MANY races I have had my eye on for this year, and register. I need something to work towards, and if this is what it takes, then so be it. I didn't register for races because I was afraid between work, school, and kids, training would just be too much. But I know that I need this... and that I don't have to win a gold medal, even if I walk part of any race. The point is just to FINISH..... but first, I've got to START.

mrv ;-)